


Young and Beautiful

by MadHatterNO7



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M, Poor Harry, Post-Canon, Post-Hogwarts, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 11:17:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4874665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadHatterNO7/pseuds/MadHatterNO7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?' He murmured, his voice light, but there was no reply. </p><p>There was no longer anyone there to reply him with a gentle, "I will".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Young and Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a video with the background music being 'Young and Beautiful'. The line 'I know you will' – full of false confidence and reassurance of oneself when the outcome is unknown gives me feels. Knowing Severus never saw Harry grow old; Harry wishing that Severus was still alive, but hoping that Severus would still love him after all this time is heartbreaking.  
> There is no specific timeline throughout the whole flashback, just random snapshots Severus and Harry had shared with each other.  
> Originally posted on fanfiction.net.  
> May contain triggers.
> 
> For greater effect, please listen to the song 'Young and Beautiful' - Lana Del Rey

Harry Potter roamed the halls of Hogwarts aimlessly, sliding the tips of his fingers across the walls, feeling the cold and rough stone underneath his touch, caressing them as if it was his lover. Years ago before Hogwarts was repaired, rubble and dust were everywhere, scattered across the whole expanse like dead bodies of the deceased that had sacrificed their life defending their home.

 

_I've seen the world, done it all_

 

He had already lost count of how many times he saw the light in a man's eyes dim until it faded into nothing. It was so gradual, almost like the sun disappearing over the horizon, only to be replaced by night in its darkest hour. It made him clearly understand that death was lurking in the turn, reading to strike on anyone unexpected.

 

_Had my cake now_

 

He had witnessed the downfall of Voldemort; his lifeless body crumbling, dropping down like any other man - like a mortal. Then he was famous all over again, with the media flocking towards him like moths towards light and the Wizarding population thanking him endlessly for the peace that may not last long. 

 

_Diamonds, brilliant_

 

His name was known all over the Wizarding community and none didn't know his actions against Voldemort and the Death Eaters. People expressed their gratitude with gifts, showering him with all sorts of things, leaving him a great sum of money in his Gringotts vaults for the next generations of Potters.

 

_And Bel-Air now_

 

Time passed in a haze, starting with his two best friends getting married and having children. His godson Teddy was put under his custody and he had spent his time raising him like his own son while he became an author and wrote books. Then another blink of his eyes, the children received their Hogwarts letter and they were worrying about the Sorting all over again.

 

_Hot summer nights, mid-July_

 

The cicadas chirped again, as the heat reminded him of the summer holidays he had spent with the Dursleys before he became of age. The sun had burnt his skin when he was outside weeding in the heat but he had always gotten around it with the help of his magic regulating his body when it's night time. What the Dursleys never figured out was the long sleepless nights he had spent talking to Severus on bed.

 

_When you and I were forever wild_

 

The shadows of them kissing lingered around the dungeons, the astronomy tower and the Forbidden Forest. It haunted Harry for years when he started to teach at Hogwarts. All the times when they shared a little smile when they thought no one was looking. The detentions that Severus would give him every now and then. The lessons they had to have in order to prepare for the upcoming war all reminded Harry of his presence whenever he sat in the dungeons, touching the places Severus has touched.

 

_The crazy days_

 

Severus and Harry duelling with each other, spells of different colours flying across the Room of Requirement, lasting for a while before Severus pinned Harry to the ground, waiting for Harry to admit defeat. Then Harry would laugh and pull Severus down for a kiss, both grinning like love sick fools like there was no tomorrow.

 

_The city lights_

 

They had shared dinners in Muggle London during the holidays many times, both adorning casual clothes as they strolled down the streets. The whole world lit up when night overwhelmed the city, with flashing lights and shop signs replacing the lack of sunlight when night arrived. Now whenever Harry ate at their favourite restaurant, the owner would ask him about the man that always accompanied him, but each time he would shake his head with a loving smile on his face, replying the owner with a soft, "Not today."

 

_The way you'd play with me like a child_

 

Severus had spending his mornings staring at Harry with an amused smile when Harry unwrapped his Christmas presents, then joining him when Harry demanded his presence when he started opening Severus' presents for him. With the lack of celebrations of Christmas in both their childhoods, they spent the whole day making up for the time lost.

 

_Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?_

 

He could still remember the day when he smiled childishly at Severus, who returned him with a fond smile as they visited the amusement park to enjoy some time off training for the approaching war. They had disguised themselves with magic to prevent anyone recognising them and under Harry's suggestion, Severus had made Harry seem more feminine, so that they wouldn't attract any attention when they held hands in the public like any other loving couple.

 

_Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul?_

 

Severus offering him his comfort when Harry described what had happened during his fourth year when he was taken away by a portkey. Severus had gently taken his hand, held it up to his lips and looked at him in the eye, told him that it wasn't his fault and that it was the mad man's fault for murdering such a young man who had a bright future in front of him. He had told him that Harry didn't deserve all these burdens thrust upon him – that he was just a child that deserved to be treated as one.

 

_I know you will_

 

When Professor Lupin turned into a werewolf in front of their eyes and Severus had stretched open his arms like a mother hen, guarding the Golden Trio behind him, protecting them from being bitten or hurt by the werewolf during a full moon. Harry had looked up to see his protector, only to see his determined face, his jaw clenched, glaring at the werewolf, poised – ready to attack.

 

_I know you will_

 

The many times when Harry had looked sheepishly up to his professor who appeared furious at the explosions that he caused during class. The worry in his eyes were nothing but true as he demanded his friends to send him to the infirmary to check for any injuries other than being burnt by the boiling substance in the cauldron. Then he would apply salve for him during their said detentions at night.

 

_I know that you will_

 

The deep and low "You're dead" that was always murmured every time Severus managed to pin Harry down or whenever he had hit him with a spell that could be the killing curse in battle. Then he would point out what Harry had done wrong or what he had lacked in his movements until Harry understood, then they would resume duelling again.

 

_Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?_

 

His emerald eyes sparkled as much as Dumbledore's eyes twinkled when Harry was young, as described by Hermione when he had shown her some of the memories in the pensieve. Now his eyes were a dull forest green, lacking all the emotions that were buried deep within the window of his soul.

 

_I've seen the world_

 

He was no longer a child from the moment he was marked by the Dark Lord. He had seen the inhumane things Voldemort and the Death Eaters had done through occasional visions. He had also seen the pain Severus went through every time when he was called to Death Eater meetings and had always refused to sleep on those nights because the pain of Severus being tortured by crucio was unbearable.

 

_Lit it up, as my stage now_

 

He was another legend told in many books, another light wizard after Dumbledore that had saved the Wizarding world from the Dark Lord's evil clutches. He was told to children as the hero who had fought and defeated the bad guy and was the one who kept the boggarts underneath the bed away.

 

_Channelling angels in the new age now_

 

He had brought on a new age where Grindelwald and Voldemort didn't bother them anymore, where there were no Dark Lords running around and raising in power when Harry Potter still lived and walked on Earth. He had hoped that even if there was one raising in power, that no child was going to be burdened by the weight of the whole Wizarding world's life on their fragile little shoulders like he did.

 

_Hot summer days_

 

The Battle of Hogwarts was on the second day of summer, the first year where Harry was not at the Dursleys'. But from that day on, there was no Severus Snape that would tutor him through the two-way mirror during the nights when he had completed all his daily chores. That summer that year was the first summer he spent in solitude in Grimmauld Place.

 

_Rock and roll, the way you'd play for me at your show_

 

Harry finding Severus' violin at their home at Spinner's End, remembering the time when Severus had gently scraped the dust off the case, opened it and lifting the violin to play the instrument for him, after Harry had begged with his best puppy dog eyes. When the song ended, Severus had promised Harry that he would teach him how to play when the war was over, but in the end he couldn't keep that promise. Now Harry had learnt how to play the same violin through the notes Severus had left him.

 

_And all the ways I got to know your pretty face and electric soul_

 

Severus chuckling gently when Harry fell into the trap set by the twins and laughed even harder when Harry had looked at him with a small pout, not happy about what had happened. Then when Severus had ceased down his laughter, Harry would give Severus a small secret smile before Harry would leave to plan revenge on the twins.

 

_Will you still love when I'm no longer young and beautiful?_

 

Severus planting a kiss on Harry's forehead before letting Harry return to the Gryffindor tower after their detentions, but then Severus would catch him roaming around at night with his invisibility coat draped over his head. Then Severus would pull the coat off him, pin him against the wall and demand him to go back to bed, until Harry would smile mischievously and kiss Severus on the nose, only to be met by a growl of frustration.

 

_Will you still love me when I got nothing by my aching soul?_

 

Harry staring at the empty grave on the anniversary of Sirius' death, with his hand wrapped tightly by Severus as he offers his silent company while Harry mourned over his godfather's death. Then Harry had spoke, introducing Severus again as his partner and told Sirius that he was not-so-sorry that he had found love in his rival back at school. Severus had ended up giving his apologies to Sirius, even though he would not had heard him from the other world.

 

_I know you will_

 

Severus hugging Harry from behind when Harry looked crestfallen, his chin gently rested upon the top of Harry's head and Harry leaned back against him, accepting the comfort from his snarky professor who was unusually quiet when Harry did this.

 

_I know you will_

 

Severus entering the washroom with such rage when students came reporting that his partner and his godson were fighting, but faded as soon as he saw the panic in Harry's frightened teary eyes. He had gave him a meaningful, threatening stare before he had started mumbling the counter curse while Harry knelt down, his hands trembling to help his school rival up as soon the wound was healed to prevent water from getting into his airway.

 

_I know that you will_

 

Harry casting his protronus again, only to find the stag had shifted its shape into an eagle that represented Severus. He had turned to look at Severus, who had an amused smile on his face before casting his own patronus, revealing a panther that represented Harry. He had let the two entwine and dance around each other before they disappeared into thin air again, leaving a trail of white smoke.

 

_Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?_

 

Severus sending his patronus to guide Harry to the Sword of Gryffindor, a fond smile forming on his face when he had saw Harry recognise the patronus immediately and panicked as he turned to search for his shadows, before he covered his face and grinned like a little kid at the thought of Severus being near him.

 

_Dear lord, when I get to heaven, please let my bring my man_

_When he comes, tell me that you'll let him in_

_Father tell me if you can_

 

Harry had known there was a very high chance for them to die in battle and he was willing to sacrifice himself to protect Severus if necessary. But Severus had gently caressed his cheeks, telling him that he was the only one who could defeat the Dark Lord and that he was not willing for Harry to die. They had made a promise back then and Harry had struggled to keep it over the years, living his life just like Severus had told him to.

 

_Oh that grace_

 

Severus' figure when he strode across the hall, his robes billowing behind him, creating a silhouette that masked over Hogwarts, determined to protect the students there. His face had been as empty and cold as it should be when his partner Harry Potter stepped in front of him, both acting the best as they could.

 

_Oh that body_

 

Harry and Severus spending their last night together, making love to each other, touching and caressing the warm body in front of them, reminding themselves that they could be cold and forgotten the next day when the battle began. They had clutched each other tightly, both desperate like there was no tomorrow.

In fact, there had been no tomorrow.

 

_Oh that face makes me want to party_

 

Severus' relaxed form when they were alone together in the dungeon, Harry doing his assigned essays and Severus marking student assignments on the same table opposite of each other. Harry would always stare at him and he would always look up and return him a raised eyebrow before Harry ducked his head down again.

 

_He's my sun_

 

Severus was the adult figure that Harry had missed during his childhood, but he was also the lover that he desired. He was the mentor and teacher that taught Harry in the best way he could, putting him through challenges and believing in him without condition.

 

_He makes me shine like diamonds_

 

Harry dodging and firing spells with such grace, each move flowing with agility, putting one enemy down after another. There was nothing to fear with his friends behind his back supporting him and with the deceased guarding him. If Severus had been there, he would have been proud of what his student had turned out to be.

 

_Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?_

 

Harry unbuttoning his shirt, revealing scars to the healer. Each of the scars was caused by spells and weaponry, marking him like an artist painting a picture. The scars that scattered across his torso each told a story: a story of his childhood, his war and his life.

 

_Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul?_

 

Harry waking up each morning with his wand on his bedside table, staring at it for a full few minutes before picking his wand as well as Severus' wand up to go to become the perfect man. He had held his own wand towards himself, considering the after effects if he committed suicide, but he had always put it back onto the table gently, eyes shimmering with determination.

 

_I know you will_

 

Severus and Harry bickering with each other like an old married couple, one of them cooking while the other sets up the table, complaining about small things the other person had did, (despite for the fact they had just spent days like a new married pair on their honeymoon.) They had lived a fair few days domestically and they had deserved to live like that for the rest of their lives.

 

_I know you will_

 

Harry putting white lilies on Severus' grave every so often, then sitting in front of the tombstone, talking to it as if it was Severus sitting in front of him, listening to him. Harry had spent a lot of time staring at the tombstone, while raising a glass of wine, half expecting it to respond. But Harry would always leave at the end of the day, standing up sorely and patting the tombstone gently as he bid goodbye.

 

_I know that you will_

 

Harry putting both of the wands into his holster, one brown in colour and one ebony black. He had taken Severus' wand to keep, rather than letting it buried with Severus. He would occasionally caress the wand, feeling the wood grains underneath graze his fingers and would imagine Severus alive and well, flicking his wand every day to perform little tasks.

 

_Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?_

 

 

**"Say Percy, who is that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?"**

 

 

_Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?_

 

 

" **The bravest man I ever knew."**

 

 

_Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?_

 

Harry sat down on the edge of the astronomy tower, staring straight ahead, his emerald eyes twinkling like they once had. His face was marred by wrinkles as time caught up to him and his voice wasn't as clear as they were before. His hair was grey and his hand shook occasionally, but never when he had a wand in his hand. He leaned against the wall next to him and watched the grounds of Hogwarts.

In the end, those were no more but memories beneath the grey.

'Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?' He murmured, his voice light, but there was no reply.

There was no longer anyone there to reply him with a gentle, "I will".

The sun gradually rose, the birds chirped in the distance as the breeze picked up its pace. Suddenly the sky was in flames, viciously painted in red and warm colours, casting the night away. Harry looked down to the two wands in his gnawed hand, feeling his heartbeat slow down in peace.

'I know you will,' he said, his smile so sure of himself that no one dared to deny him. 'I know you will.'

Tears were formed on the edge of his eyes, but they never fell. He watched the sun rise fully, sunshine pouring down onto the grounds of Hogwarts, lighting up the whole place like the lights in Muggle London. He then closed his weary eyes, his eyelashes flicking gently, a bright smile forming on his face as he bathed in the sunlight. The edge of his eyes crinkled as he did and with the tension in his body gone, he looked like another old man that was accepting his fate.

'I know that you will,' he whispered, reassuring himself.

The tight hand that clutched onto the two wands gradually relaxed. He cradled it until his hand slumped down onto his side with a gentle thud. The two wands rolled off the edge and fell, landing onto the grass down below with one on top of the other.

Holly entwined with ebony. Gold tangled with silver. Emerald interlaced with black.

He could almost see the man's robes flicking behind him as he strode, the same as ever.

Still young and beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> "Will you love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?" he asked.
> 
> "I will," the other man paused. "You know I will. I know I will."
> 
> "…I knew you will. I know you will."
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading.  
> Tumblr @[arentwelost](http://arentwelost.tumblr.com)


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